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Why Setting Boundaries Is Essential For Your Mental Health

Writer's picture: Marga HogenhuisMarga Hogenhuis

Setting boundaries. It sounds simple, but why does it often feel so complicated? Many people struggle with setting personal boundaries, out of fear of rejection, guilt, or conflict. Yet it is one of the most powerful forms of self-care there is.

In this article, you'll discover why setting boundaries is essential for your mental health and how you can start building healthy boundaries in your life.



What are personal boundaries?

Boundaries are the invisible lines you draw to protect yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. They indicate what you will and will not accept in your relationships, work, and daily life. Boundaries can range from refusing an invitation to saying you need space to come to yourself.

Example: Think of a garden with a fence. The fence protects what is important inside and determines who or what you let in. Boundaries work the same way: they protect your inner peace and energy.


Why Boundaries Are Essential for Your Mental Health

  1. Protection against burnout: Without clear boundaries, others can constantly demand your time and energy. This can lead to overload and eventually burnout.

  2. Self-respect and self-love: Setting boundaries shows that you take your own needs and feelings seriously. It is an act of self-love and strengthens your self-esteem.

  3. Healthy Relationships: Boundaries help prevent misunderstandings and resentments. They create open communication and mutual respect in your relationships.

  4. Peace and balance: By guarding your boundaries, you have more space for what is really important. This gives you peace and a sense of control over your life.


Why is it so hard to set boundaries?

Setting boundaries can feel like a risk. You may be afraid that people will think you are selfish, or that they will get angry and distance themselves. These fears are often rooted in old patterns or beliefs, such as the idea that you always have to take care of others to be loved.

But the great thing is, the more you set boundaries, the more natural it feels. You will notice that people who really care about you will respect your boundaries.

How do you start setting boundaries?

  1. Reflect on your needs: What costs you energy? What gives you peace? Answering these questions will help you discover where your boundaries lie.

  2. Use "I-messages": Communicate your boundaries in a clear but kind way. For example: "I notice I need some time to calm down, so I'm going to pass this time."

  3. Start small: You don’t have to make big changes right away. Practice with simple situations, like refusing a small favor.

  4. Be consistent: Maintaining your boundaries takes practice and repetition. Stand firm in what you have stated.


Reflection: What do your boundaries mean?

Take a moment to pause and ask yourself:

  • Where do I feel the most tension in my life?

  • Which situations cost me a disproportionate amount of energy?

  • What can I do to give myself more space and peace?


Setting boundaries is not an act of selfishness, but of love — for yourself and for others. Not only does it help you become mentally stronger, it inspires those around you to do the same.

Setting boundaries is a journey, not a destination. Give yourself the time and space to embrace this process. Small steps lead to big changes. Take that first step today.

What will be the first boundary you set?



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